Every Sunday morning I take a shower. Two weeks ago I made it through my whole shower without a child coming to find me, coming into the bathroom, complaining or yelling. (I first noticed when I was washing then conditioning my hair, and still no child). As I was drying off, I could not hear any children. My Mom Alarm was going off big time: No interruptions? Children being extra quiet? WARNING! WARNING! I hurriedly threw on bare minimum clothes and went searching through the condo. I found both children in the playroom, laying on Amber’s 6′ stuffed unicorn, reading. Reading! Whew and wow! Think it’ll happen again today?
Recent musings #1:
Last week it was 39° and partly Sunny here in Ann Arbor. I was outside without gloves or hat and with my coat unzipped. Amber didn’t even want to wear her coat. I saw a man out pushing a baby in a stroller. I saw a woman out walking next to a true to the word Toddler. I saw people walking dogs, instead of just having them “go” in the yard and coming right back in.
Man do we make 39° look warm!
To be fair, we had just spent about 2 weeks with highs in the 20s. We’ve clearly all got our Winter Skins.
Earlier this week I realized that I have not seen any of my friends, except for my bfMI Maha and that was only once, since September (August even?). Oh, and there was also that one chance encounter with a friend at church.
Yesterday was my last “midterm” exam, and all papers / videos / debates already done. Final exams start next Friday, with an important class day on Tuesday. So I told my kids if they’re going to get sick, as in need to stay home sick, the next 6 days is the time to do it.
Last night Aurora was up multiple times with coughing fits of varying duration, and woke this morning with a low grade fever in the morning (99.7). Today I get a call from Amber’s school that she’s complaining it hurts and her throat feels cold when she breathes in. I checked in on her and her tonsils are swollen.
Neither have stayed home / come home early yet. Amber’s rapid strep test was negative so I took her back to school’s after care. Aurora seems to be doing “better” tonight after an initial rough round of coughing while trying to fall asleep.
Plan D has been revoked. I will simply be trying to make it through the rest of the semester with an A- average. There will be no attending Medical school for the Fall of 2019 for me. It will have to be 2020.
Any suggestions of what I can do during the dreaded “gap year” will be entertained starting May 25th.
> Alice Dancler: I wish you lived closer! I wish I could help!
Thank you. There’s really nothing anyone can do to help. There simply isn’t enough time given my current mental-emotional state. It’s taking me so much more effort to get non-kid things done. Sitting at the end of class trying to make sense of the stuff the professor just said because I’m not grasping meaning or connections like I usually do. Because things aren’t sticking like they used to do. To force myself to keep paying attention to reading or homework because my ability to concentrate is shot. To force myself through the not-caring about school work because I know I used to care about this stuff and I know I will care again someday. It’s just so much more effort, and there isn’t any room to give me the extra time I need to push through the mental cloud.
One of my advisors is recommending I drop a class as well as having given up on plan D. I’m so far into the semester, I don’t want to. It’d be such a waste of time and money and the effort I have put in so far. But I don’t know if it’d do more harm or more good to keep all my current classes.
For the fourth day in a row: I’m hungry, I want to eat, but there’s nothing here I want to eat. I don’t even know what I want to eat. I’m just hungry. And I don’t want any of this stuff. Not even the candy or junk food.
Even when to the grocery store this morning and bought bunches of food. Still nothing I want to eat right now.
You can be selfish, you can put the spotlight on yourself a fair amount of the time, and still be a good person… right?
Found out on Friday there’s 2 less weeks for plan D than I expected.
Just watched a middle age white woman get off a bus and chase down a black man because he left his phone on the bus.