And then there are days like today. Woke up feeling pretty good. Did chores. Had a nice time with the girls. Got stuff done. Relaxed a little. My Uncle called to check on me. My BFSC called me. Got to have something for dinner I’ve been wanting for days. Took the girls to a Halloween party they enjoyed, and I got to read 3 of my astronomy magazines from my pile that goes back almost a year and a half! Amber and I did our “special thing” tonight, which was extra special because we had already done it last night too. (It’s supposed to be one weekend night a week, time just she and I spend together after Aurora is asleep.) We finished watching the Halloween movie we started last night. And I enjoyed it. I’ve even been feeling excited about getting to start building this season’s Winter Village Lego set (from 2 years ago) next weekend for our “special thing”. Despite cranky Aurora, not a bad day at all.
But I’ve learned enough, and now experienced enough, to know that such time spans don’t indicate I don’t have depression. In fact, they are part of certain kinds. Plus, I know all it takes is one event, or action, or saying, or thought to send me back down. I just rarely know which one that will be! It’s just that days like today, where I feel pretty normal, make me hopeful that I truly am getting better.
I’ve also noticed I most always am better in mornings – or more precisely after sleeping – and at my worst at nights. Sundowning, maybe? Or maybe I just don’t have enough energy to handle a full day yet? Or maybe my 2 little lights carry me through, and once they’re asleep and I’m not good on my own yet? I do want to point out that I no longer constantly hate everything and everyone. That ended four or so months ago, with only a week or two long reoccurrence at the end of August / beginning of September that has since dissipated.
Anyway, I’m rambling now. Thank you all for all the Love. Have a good night!