The last couple weeks I’ve slowly started to feel sad, just a general saddness when not with my girls. I thought it was because I was getting lonely, missing social time – as that happens to me A LOT. But I realized Amber has helped alleviate my social neediness now that she’s old enough to act / think / sound like a real person when not whining! I still need time with adults too to be happy, but not near as much as I used to. Being with my friends at Single Mom’s Night last Thursday definitely made me feel happy that night and the next. But it wore off by Sunday. Being visited my Dad, Colette, and Joy helped too.
But it wasn’t until today that I fully realized what was actually going on. So Much Snow! I’s SOOO Wonderful! So pretty to look at. So great to be in.
My problem has been how mild this Winter has been. The couple of just more than a dusting snows we had in the last month were nice, and I noticed, bolstered my spirits every so slightly. But the last three nights I’ve been so tired – not sleepy tired but low-energy tired, such that after putting the girls to bed I’ve gone and laid back or laid down and just watched reruns while mindlessly eating or mindlessly using the internet, then after an hour or 1.5 hours noticing the time and forcing myself to get up and get the “evening chores” before going to bed, so that the morning will go easier getting the girls and I ready to get out the door. Last two weeks I even couldn’t manage to get myself up on time in the morning. This week has been better, but that’s partly because of Aurora.
Anyway, the point is, today I feel SO great! SO MUCH ENERGY! No issues doing stuff after the girls were in bed. Didn’t have to rest / lay down, didn’t have to force myself to get up. I was so looking forward to going outside and shoveling! I’m even still up now, half an hour later than usual, and only just starting to feel tired – but sleepy tired this time.
I’ve known for years that Winter is when I feel the most like me. I need snow. Love it. Makes me happy. Puts me at peace.