I have to say this is now one of my favorite not-actually-sacriligious interpretations of the Bible. From cracked.com:

#2. Jesus, Like a Non-Useless Aquaman

Jesus. Maybe you've heard of him. But of all the healing and feeding and returning from the dead he did, this has got to be the most awesome superpower he had, from Mark 4:35-41:



So they're out in the middle of a hurricane, tossed around like the guys on Deadliest Catch and Jesus, because he was just hardcore like that, didn't mind the drenching rain and the loud thunder and continued sleeping. His disciples woke him up and started griping with stupid complaints like "The boat is halfway under water!" and "We are going to die!"

Jesus told them they were faithless wusses and the disciples shut up. If that wasn't cool enough, he chewed out the storm, and it shut up, too. That has to be our favorite part, how he's just annoyed by the whole thing, as if being bothered to stop an entire weather systems was equivalent to getting woken up by your girlfriend to go kill a spider in the bathroom.

People just don't read the Bible with the right perspective. Obviously.

Labels: Quote of the Day