So I realized something today, or rather, remembered.

I've been upset occasionally that I don't have many friends here in MI. I really want more, and I REALLY want good, close friends. It bothers me every once in a while. I know the good friendships take time, and I'm willing to put in the effort too. But... well I've ranted enough before on this.

Today I thought about how my friends and I were growing up. I know that my issues now stem from how things were back then. And then it hit me: I never had a lot of good friends. I always had one or two GREAT/tight friends, maybe a couple more good/semi-close friends, and then a mess of people around that were friendly with me and vice versa but where only level 3 or so. The difference is I saw them a lot, the few close friends. We had fun on a weekly, if not daily, basis. THAT is what I grew up with. And that, I think, is what would make me super happy.

But I'd even be happy just being able to hang out (not roleplay) with good friends on a weekly basis. I had that with Kim and Steve, but... Besides that I got too busy for steady Wednesdays, we don't connect the way I did with Karen, Nicola and Elizabeth, Amy, Kat, and then Emily. I do miss getting out to see them and the kids more often these days.

Anyway, the long and short of this is: I am going to try to change my expectations and perceptions about friends here. The goal is one or two excellent friends that I get to spend time with on a common type basis, maybe a couple more good/semi-close friends also time spent with, and the rest can stay as they are - fun on occasion if and when I see them, but really not more than level 4. Everyone else is bonus, even if I only get to see them once in a while. This will make me happy (enough?). If I forget this, someone please direct me back to this post!