To the tune of "Oh, Susanna", by Stephen Foster

Well I come from Michigan, yeah,
      with a love for Halloween.
I'm goin' to South Car'lina,
      my Godson for to see.
Went from hot to cold, the week I left.
      The weather it ain't dry.
The brakes are fixed for the mount'n drive.
      Emily don't you cry.

Chorus:
Oh, Emily! Oh don't you cry for me,
I come from Michigan, yeah, with a love for Halloween.

I jumped inside my CRV,
      and drove down with Bonnie.
Let's get away, from much to do,
      the life that's stressing me.
No plane for me, though it is fast
      'cause of this fear I hide.
I shut my eyes to hold my breath,
      Emily, don't you cry.

Chorus:

We had a call the other night
      When every thing weren't done;
I thought I heard my Godson,
      A wanting attention.
His Momma's milk in his mouth,
      Means no tear in his eye,
Says I'm coming to the South,
      Emily, don't you cry.

Chorus:

I soon will be in York County,
      With naked cows on farms,
And when I find Emily,
      I'll take my Godson from her arms.
But if I do not find her,
      I just might have to lie,
'cause I lost my AAA card,
      Emily, don't you cry.

(Some of that doesn't make sense. But neither did the original, so there.)