As I Live and LearnBack   to   My   Universe

When I was in my mid-teens, I think that's when it was, my father said something that really explained me in one sentence. This is the closest I can remember to what he said: "It's amazing. You could be a complete optimist if you just let yourself."

I am, and have always been, an optimistic personality. Neigtivity only says with me for so long before I simply get over it and am happy again. I even used to never be able to hold a grudge. One night's sleep and all was forgotten, perhaps not even that long was needed! I say used to, as I did manage to hold one this past January/February for nearly a month I think. But once I realized what was going on, and that it was making me very unhappy, I let that go too. I think now it's not that I can't hold a grudge, but that I don't want to because of the negitive way it makes me feel in my chest/stomach. So yeah, even though much of what's in this blog is and will be negitively colored, that's only because that's when I felt the need to write to get my feelings out. When I'm my normal self - happy/content/or such - I tend to have no need to cope by writing. ;)

This past month, my Mother said something to me which I think she needed to hear more than I did at the time, but which I've since realized is probably one of my life's mottos. She said: "Remember, you come from a long line of mighty Oaks. We bend, but we do not break."

She is so right. When I think back on all my Mother had to endure in her life after her divorce, and all my Ma (Grandmother) must have had to endure from what I know of her life... I've always known the women in my family have been strong, some even independent women, and I've always known that I am a strong and independent woman. But it has helped, her reminding me of that with her quote during this time of great stress in my life: A sudden new job in a different state which I have to sell my condo and move for in only a matter of three-ish weeks. I Love my Mother and it will be very hard for me to leave the area she's in permanently, only to see her when I visit on the holidays. But she's right. I may bend - whether in sorrow or fear or stress - but I will not break.