Third Sign of New Depression

I was happy for a moment.
Then I turned around and saw I wasn’t home.
Reality came crashing in, now I have to cry.

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Thoughts prompted by COVID-19 shutdown, #1

When a disease starts ravishing a non-human animal population, or a tree population, what happens? Humans jump in and try to help: try to cure it, try to stop its spread, try to keep that poor species from being wiped out!!

So what happens when a disease starts ravishing the human population? Any non-domesticated animal populations out there gonna try to help us? Elephants maybe? Wolves? I was gonna say dolphins, but I thought “How would they know something’s wrong?” But THEN I saw the post about dolphins starting to appear in canals in Venice. Maybe they DO know. Can they help? Would they?

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Thoughts prompted by COVID-19 shutdown, #2

I’m starting to expect Betelgeuse to actually go supernova. I mean come on: A world-wide plague, societies shutting down, a star that’s visible during the day…. It just screams “We need a savior!” and “The Messiah is coming / returning”. Side note: Which would also prove Trump ain’t him. Besides, isn’t it time all the “end of days” crazies out there had their day?

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My Problem With Social Isolation

I was going to write a long post about how I have felt and thought over the last couple weeks, am feeling now. With 2 vivid examples of what the children have done that show what I will have to deal with constantly. And 2 scary examples of outcomes of when I’ve been isolated in the past. But it comes down to this:

1) I am a raging extrovert. Which means I NEED to interact with people in order to recharge. Make no mistake, I’ve said this for years: Interacting with a computer (or mobile device), that interacts with another computer (or mobile device), that interacts with another person, is NOT the same as interacting with that other person! I can not recharge from that!

2) My primary love language is touch. Which means I NEED to be near people in order to be happy. There is no artificial substitute. I’ve tried many times over in my life.

So when I continue to go in to work at the office, try to have play dates so *I* can have social interaction, or whatever else, it is NOT just because I think I’m young and healthy enough to handle COVID-19. And it’s not because I don’t understand the reality of what’s happening in the world today.

It is because I know myself. And I would rather be mentally and emotionally well, than physically well but otherwise withering the slow agonizing death that is social isolation. I might have made it through 2 weeks, or possibly even the hell of 3 weeks. But 8 -12 is impossible. The well-being of myself, and therefore also of my children, is a stake. I am not over exaggerating.

I will not risk others without explicit permission from said others. I can absolutely abide by the 6 foot social distancing rule and get the interaction I need, and have been doing so! You can judge me all you want for my decisions during this pandemic. But I will be looking out for my own health as much as I look out for the health of others in this. You just don’t know what it’s like to be me. For the small amount of people who are like me, it will not “be okay” under your lock downs and quarantines. No matter how much virtual content, or “here’s how to survive” guides, or spend time outside, or gratitude journals, etc you throw at us. Those just show how deeply you simply don’t understand.

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Just chillin’ with my peeps. :)

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My Version of Hording

I decided to horde stamps this morning.
We needed 7.
I bought 40.

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I Guess I’m Finally Feeling the Scare Others Already Have

I didn’t sleep well last night. Around 6:15am I tried to figure out why. Since then, this song refrain has been playing in my head all morning.

“I do my hair toss,
Check my nails,
Baby, how you feeling?”
Feeling scared as hell.

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Look what Amber and I saw on our walk today! Image may contain: plant, outdoor and nature

Katie Colman:
Snow drops! Spring is getting very close if these guys are out. Next are Crocuses.

Jennifer Michelle German:
Which, I think, are the green stems in the far back left of the picture.

Katie Colman:
The ones on the left appear to be early tulips in shape but the ones by the cute pink shoes look like it. =)

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My Black History lesson is being Whitewashed

My Black History lesson is being Whitewashed. So that there are no aspects “where students are made to feel uncomfortable”.

UPDATE:
Here’s my response to the latest part of my lesson that has been denied approval. Can my peeps please read this and tell me if there are any typos or egregious grammatical errors? Also, what is your opinion? I have to send this in by 11am:

Hello Again ,

Can you please explain what the issues and problems with the board game are? You told me the problem with the simulation was children and adults playing roles that model racist behaviors. No person is acting out, or modeling, racist behaviors as part of the board game. The children play the game just like any traditional board game: they are rolling a die, moving a piece, and following rules. The content of the spaces and the cards is not different than the content of books they learn from. I don’t see how it is a problem to learn about some of what happened during slavery and the efforts to help slaves escape to freedom. The children are not witnessing nor experiencing anything disturbing. It is all words on paper, presented in a way meant to engage children so they actually learn, and not just read and forget. To not teach at all what happened in our history is to erase it, as if it didn’t matter, or worse, to imply it was okay that it happened and so not worth mentioning.

Sincerely,
Jennifer German

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We made a fort yesterday. :)

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