Tower of Babble?

It has been decided that the official language of my country will be English, and that "text-speak" is not allowed unless you are actually using a cell phone to send text. All other correspondence and text forms of communication require real words, punctuation, and capitalization! You do not need to know how to spell, but if you don't then you have to use a spell checker. Word processors that allow you to write however you wish but then are used to correct before your writing is done are allowed.

How did this edict come about? Well, after noting to each other that we knew the U.S. doesn't have an official language (nowhere in any legal U.S. documents is English named the language of the U.S.), my co-worker and I were discussing possible languages for my country. We initially liked Latin, until he mentioned only us, a few archaeologists, and a bunch of Catholic priests would be talking to each other. And I don't even know Latin.

We agreed we liked the dead language concept, but didn't come up with one we liked enough before I realized I wasn't going to learn a new (non-programming) language anytime soon, and declared it's English because that's what I know the best.

We also realize the language might end up being another variation of English by the time I'm done with it. You know, like there is British English, American English and Australian English. Mine will probably be called German English, because (currently) my last name is German. Many of my friends have been joking about my country being full of Germans, or being a dictatorship because it's German, or being called Germany which would cause amusing confusions. But I think that won't stick once actual names for the Island and country are known.

However, the way people write it today bothers me to no end! I don't mean bad grammar or the occasional missed misspelling. I mean the blatant lack of caring. My name is Jennifer, not jennifer. It's a matter of respect, people. I am a person and that makes me important, a proper noun, worthy of being capitalized. If you don't think so then you're not important enough for me to care about either. And using punctuation: it allows people reading your ideas to understand what the heck you are actually saying. Otherwise you simply have one long run on of lowercase letters and words that is not worth the effort to try and decipher. In the end, you only make yourself look unintelligent by writing that way. (No, not lazy, but in fact stupid, because no one is so lazy they can't hit one more key to make things correct.) Ditto for using actual words instead of the letter the word sounds like, or a character that means something similar but is a misuse of the character (such as money versus $).

Please don't get me started on missing vowel words, text-speak acronyms, and multiple exclamation marks. Sufficed to say, all bad habits that will not be tolerated in my country. Oh, and all capitals means you are yelling. No exception.

Though oddly enough, those little text faces don't bother me. Ah, the contradiction that I am.

As a side note, the official programming language of my country is LISP. :)